Respect….

We are taught to respect our elders, and we are taught to respect our parents, caregivers or whoever it is raising you.

Why is this a must? I understand manners, please and thank you, but I can’t understand why , why we must respect our elders, especially if they come out to be an abuser, this then gives them rights to continue the abuse, knowing you can’t betray them because you’ve been taught not to.

Not to question them, not to disobey them, we become obedient, we trust, and sometimes that trust is taken advantage of. We have been taught that colouring outside of the lines is unacceptable behavior, and if you didn’t get taught this, consider yourself lucky.

It’s given so many generations of abusers a free ride to continue, because as children we learnt that it was not appropriate to say certain things outside of the family, and even then, it was best not said at all. So many kids are then forced to navigate the abuse or actually are forced to internalise these feelings of violation, and it becomes a part of who they are.

I grew up with a family who I feel never understood children, who brought with them generations of how to behave proper in society, and this was put onto kids as an expectation that they as a two year old should sit still and be quiet, as a given, because a two year old can and should be able to do that throughout a lunch.

For me the reason parenting is in the spotlight and how to do it better for the future generations, is because so many generations have experienced, and I really want to be careful with my wording around this, a childhood that wasn’t for a child, they’ve experienced verbal, physical and pure psychological abuse that no child should ever have to experience.

As a mum, and when I became a mum, I was so emotional, your baby is the purest of pure humans. Watching my baby just laying there not knowing what I know as a 30 something year old, seeing everything for the first time, and just taking it all in with the purest of intentions. It all hit me hard, and then looking back and mine and my partners childhoods was a giant freight train if there if ever was one!

It was the most angst, pain,beauty and love I’d ever experienced at once. I couldn’t understand how anyone would want to hurt this innocent being, how could they have such evil in them, what had they witnessed in their life to think it was ok,

They have not learnt how to hate, they have not been taught how to hate in this world, they do not fear, they have no angst and everyone is equal in their innocent eyes.

Every parent has a responsibility to protect their child no matter the circumstances, I’d prefer to be a parent who lives paycheck to paycheck if it meant my child was protected, was safe from something that don’t need exposure to as a child, than a rich parent with a child who was constantly put in a position to suffer, to feel isolated, to feel they don’t have a voice in what they do- no matter what.